Deviation removed due to controversial material

Perfect, flawless, beautiful. Practice makes perfect. But nothing in the world is perfect. So why bother practice?

Teenagers. Develop a crush and that's exactly what happens – get crushed. Then comes the MOPING and the incessant CRYING. And yet, teenagers are told to act their age. Which is exactly what we're doing.

So don't write poems about "love" if you're still a teenager. Love is an adult emotion and it is something teenagers do not yet understand because we're still developing. You're deluding yourself and setting yourself up for unnecessary pain.

The door knocks. I answer it.
"You will go to Hell if you don't believe in my religion!" is basically what all the religious people say. But there's more than one religion that claims that and since no one can belong to more than one religion, it appears everyone is going to Hell.

Election time plays sneak up Granny and politicians I only ever see once every 3 years seize the opportunity to disrupt my afternoon nap. Let me impart a piece of wisdom here: you can tell if a politician is lying if their lips are moving and words are coming out.

Christmas rears its head again. It's meant to be a time of joy for one and all. Although has no one realised that Christmas Carols tend to invoke mixed feelings? I don't think it's humorous if MY grandma got run over by a reindeer. And really, Mummy kissing Santa? How dare she cheat on Daddy on Christmas Eve!

After all the rich gooey Christmas puddings and partying, most of us would've gained weight. If you must ask if you look fat in what you're wearing, do not be offended at the answer. You asked for an opinion and at least your friend was upfront and saved you a lot of stares in public.

Then there are those with insecurities akin to the poisonous miasma that swirls in bottomless abysses. Hiding under copious amounts of makeup will attract even MORE attention and further deepen your insecurities. After all, who doesn't like to laugh at a clown?

Suspension from school is not a punishment. It is a holiday.

For those of us who never get what we want: make a scene! It embarrasses the other party and even if it fails, others will be made aware of the situation and word will spread its wings and take to the skies.

And if all else fails, the easiest way to get anything: You have a nice smile. Please find enclosed $10.

Alternatively, follow the crowd and make sheep noises. At least you're honest.

This piece purposefully has 13 ideas. Even if a building does not name the 13th storey as such, if the elevator stops in an emergency between the 12th and 14th storeys, it is STILL THE THIRTEENTH "LEVEL".